This week, staff member David Allston answers this question from Merrilee in Greer:
We're told to forgive whomever for whatever, yet "If he sins...and seven times returns, saying, "I repent", you shall forgive him." So it's OK not to forgive if they do not confess, repent, ask for forgiveness? Can you reconcile these polarized teachings?
When we approach the Scripture, we must do so with humility and a willingness to have our views shaped by what we find. Let’s begin by looking at Luke 17:3-4 “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” At first glance, it appears that Jesus is saying that when people have repented, then we forgive them. This would imply that if they do not repent, or ask for forgiveness, then we are not obligated to forgive them. However, this is not the case, either in this passage or in Scripture as a whole.
Jesus puts a great deal of responsibility on the one who has been wronged to move towards the one who has sinned. He tells his disciples, “If another believer sins, rebuke that person…” Our natural tendency when we find someone in sin is to pull back; either because they have sinned against us and hurt us, or because their sin makes us uneasy and we are afraid that if we confront them, it will not go well. Jesus does not give us this option, he commands us to confront them in their sin. He models this behavior for us. Jesus never fails to confront sin. He wades into the mess of people’s lives and calls them to stop sinning. The woman at the well in John 4 comes to draw water and Jesus exposes her sinful relationships. Jesus simply loves this woman too much to allow her to continue in her sin. When we fail to rebuke our brothers and sisters for their sin, we demonstrate that we care more about our own comfort than we do about them. We are holding up the idol of self and comfort at the expense of our brothers and sisters. Jesus does not give us this option.
Jesus never fails to confront sin. He wades into the mess of people’s lives and calls them to stop sinning.
Next, we need to look at what Jesus does when he confronts people in their sins. He is not content to call them sinners and leave them where they are. He calls them to repentance and then he does something amazing; he forgives them. The Holy One forgives those who are utterly unholy. Jesus offers life to those who are dead. Ephesians 2:1 tells us all, “Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.” Jesus rebukes in order to redeem and restore. The Gospel is about an eternal and all-powerful God taking on human form, living a perfect life, and dying a criminal’s death on the Cross so that those who were dead and without hope could be adopted as sons and daughters. Jesus takes those who revile him and makes them family. We who have been given this gift are called to move towards others in the same manner that Christ moved towards us.
When our posture towards our brothers and sisters is one of forgiveness and a desire for reconciliation, we are able to give up our rights for the sake of others. With that as a backdrop, let’s look at verse four again. “Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Jesus has already called us to move and work for reconciliation in verse three. This places the responsibility to move on us. It means that we are not permitted to hold on to our rights and demand that those who have wronged us come crawling to us begging for forgiveness.
This places the responsibility to move on us. It means that we are not permitted to hold on to our rights and demand that those who have wronged us come crawling to us begging for forgiveness.
The Bible makes it clear that God loved us while we were his enemies. He did not demand his rights and he will not allow his children to demand their right to justice. Jesus takes forgiveness to another level in verse four by removing the limits on how much we must forgive. He says that we must forgive the same person even if they wrong us seven times a day. This will not be easy. It will cost you. Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, says this, “When you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt. You bear it yourself. All forgiveness, then, is costly.” Because Jesus has borne all for us, we are free to bear the sins of others. There is no limit to what we must forgive because Christ did not place a limit on what he forgave us. This will cost you more than you can imagine, but the rewards will far outweigh the loss.
For more information on this subject, check out Dan Dather’s sermon from our summer series in Proverbs entitled Reconciliation: It’s Always My Move.