Missional Parenting: There's Nothing to It. Really.

Two-and-a-half years ago, we joined the community of Allendale, SC. One of the most common questions we get about moving to and living in Allendale is, “How are your kids doing?” This question has never surprised us, since it was an issue that we ourselves had to consider before moving here.

If we learned anything about parenting, it’s that kids adjust. Who knew that our kids would quickly and cheerfully adjust from a calm and structured homeschool environment (with afternoon naps and rest time), to playing with dozens of high-energy children every afternoon?

Was it an easy or quick transition? Not at all! For example, our four-year-old was exhausted, and our first grader regularly became frustrated with the changes. But now they look back with fond memories, and consider many of those children some of their best friends.

We aren’t called to adjust our mission around our children, but to lead our children through God’s call for us.

The lesson we are learning, and which all parents must know, is that we cannot center our ministry around our children. We aren’t called to adjust our mission around our children, but to lead our children through God’s call for us.

Our kids’ nap schedules, dance classes, music lessons, and traveling athletic teams aren’t bad things. However, they can become idols that keep us from fully experiencing the purpose and joys that the Lord has for us.

Being “missional” is a growing buzzword in evangelical circles. That’s good, because engaging the culture has been a weakness in most churches over the last few decades. Yet my kids do not even know what this means, and neither should yours (in a sense). In fact, it should be for us adults either, because being missional shouldn’t be seen as a special addition to the Christian life.

We don't teach our children that they should carve out a portion of their week to serve others, but that serving others should be part of the natural rhythm of their lives

Missional mindsets and actions should flow naturally from a heart that follows God. What we are working to teach our children is not that they should carve out a portion of their week to serve others, but that being friends with kids in Allendale (and other places) should be part of the natural rhythm of their lives.

So, whether we are parenting in Allendale, or Greenville, or anywhere, our kids need Two things:

1. Our kids need us to follow Jesus completely. We must have spiritual conversations with them, and then they need to see that spirituality manifested as fruit (good works) in our lives.
2. Our kids need us to create opportunities for them to love others. Most children won’t naturally think how they can engage the culture, or even that they should do so. But we parents can live “missionally” and help our children do the same.

When we serve joyfully, our kids will catch the same joy as well. Have fun serving in front of them and with your kids! Every Sunday night, my family jokes about me going back to prison (for ministry, not as a consequence). We tell stories about our favorite moments from after school programs and camps and field trips.

At the end of our first year in Allendale, a friend gave me this counsel, “Make sure your kids remember their time in Allendale as the best part of their life.” And if you ask them, I’m sure they will say that it has been.

- Joey Espinosa

For more information about the Espinosas and their lives in Allendale, visit their blog here. This post is a part of our Summer Missional Living Series for the Pastor's Blog. Please contact us with any stories or experiences you've encountered of people living on mission for the Gospel.