When I was in the eighth grade, I was sent to the principal’s office for trading baseball cards in the back of the science classroom while I was supposed to be working on a test. While it seems like a minor offense now, the 100 yard walk from the classroom to the office that day seemed like the Green Mile from death row to the electric chair. Complicating matters for me was the fact that the principal that I was going to visit was also my dad! I was much less concerned about how many detentions I would have to serve or how many “licks” I would get with the paddle than I was with how disappointed my dad would be with my behavior. I dreaded seeing the look on his face when I walked in with an office referral.
My principal/dad did the expected and gave me a detention (I opted out of the paddling since I had experienced that from him before and didn’t care to repeat it any more than necessary). However after he signed the paperwork he said something that I’ll never forget. He put his arm around me and told me that although there were consequences for what I had done (detention), he didn’t love me any less than he did before I came to the office. I think he sensed my fear of letting him down, so he also said that as far as he was concerned, the incident never happened. I appreciated what he said at the time, but it was years later before I realized that dad was giving me a great example of the gospel at that moment.
That situation from eighth grade came to mind a few weeks ago when Matt mentioned the idea of justification during his sermon on personal theology. Just as my dad freed me from the guilt of the minor thing that I had done, God has freed me from the guilt of every sin I have ever committed or will ever commit.
Like many Grace members, I was raised going to church every week and “prayed the prayer” when I was eight years old. At the time I knew the importance of the decision I was making, but in second grade my theology was definitely lacking and the opportunities for true life change were minimal. I did a pretty good job of following the “rules” of the works-based Christianity I was familiar with until I left for college. While I never questioned God’s existence, I spent several years where I definitely wasn’t bearing fruit and acting like a believer. My decisions during those years were completely selfish and based on whatever would bring ME comfort, happiness, or fulfillment.
After several years of this selfish living, I realized that I was on a dead-end path and looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I recognized that I had wasted years of my life that I should have spent serving the only One who can fulfill me. That realization was difficult because I had always viewed myself as a pretty good person. I had to come to grips with the fact that I was a sinner like everyone else and that my actions were why Jesus had to die on the cross.
Because I am a sinner, it can be very easy to be paralyzed by the embarrassment, guilt and shame that accompany some of my past actions. At times I have found myself saying, “Who am I to confront this friend of mine who is not following Christ? I did the same thing the whole time I was in college!” It is in those moments that I have to remind myself of my righteous status before God because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. I don’t have to be perfect because Jesus lived a perfect life FOR ME even though I am completely undeserving!
One of my favorite books, The Gospel Primer, gives us 30 reasons why we should preach the gospel to ourselves daily. One of those is the “sufficiency of the cross.” When I carry around the guilt and shame of my past sins, I am questioning my justification. By doing that, in essence, I am saying that Jesus’ brutal death on the cross wasn’t enough and that I also need to beat myself up a little to truly be righteous. As Matt reminded us, it is arrogant to think that I could do something so awful that God couldn’t handle it. There is no wake that I can create that Jesus can’t handle. I remind myself of this often and am eternally grateful for a Savior who is not only capable, but also willing to view me as righteous when I don’t deserve it!
-Scott Freeman, Community Groups Pastor/Pre-Marital Program