Paul Tripp is the Teaching Pastor at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia and is also a Professor of Pastoral Life and Care at the Redeemer Seminary in Dallas. His previous books (How People Change, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands and many others) focus on the hope the gospel gives us as we face the uncertainty of a broken world. In his most recent work, What Did You Expect, Tripp focuses on marriage and the problems many marriages face when not equipped with the grace of the gospel.
Tripp compares our culture's dating process to that of a used car salesman. We spend months and months trying to impress our potential spouse all the while emphasizing our good traits and trying to hide our flaws. Several weeks after the wedding, many newlyweds claim, "This isn't the same person I married!" Tripp contends that it IS the same person you married, it just isn't the same person you dated.
Tripp explains that when a broken sinner joins another broken sinner in marriage, it is extremely unrealistic to expect perfection. Sin causes us to dehumanize our spouse. Instead of being the objects of our affection, our spouse becomes either a vehicle to help us get what we want or an obstacle in the way of what we want. Tripp suggests that in order to correct this way of thinking, we must "hold our marriages up in front of the most accurate mirror ever made, the Bible."
When marriage is viewed through the lens of the gospel, it can dramatically change our expectations. Tripp questions the ideal that marriage was created for our happiness. While happiness will often be a byproduct of a successful marriage, Tripp suggests that the true purpose of marriage is to make us more like Christ by...
- teaching us to give grace to others.
- teaching us to forgive.
- teaching us to trust.
- teaching us to appreciate differences in others.
Whether you are in a satisfying marriage or frustrated and just about ready to give up, whether you have been married for a few months or a few decades, Tripp says early in the book that, "whatever your marriage is now, it can be better." This is the core idea of this book and is an encouraging goal for all married couples.
-Scott Freeman, Community Groups Pastor
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